I woke up to rain dripping outside my window. That’s the best. Especially since I don’t have to go anywhere today. I have tons of things on my To Do list, but for now I’m content staring out the window – just being.
Work begins again next week. Monday morning. Another summer gone so quickly. Another list of goals and plans that I was going to accomplish not completed. Only halfway completed. Half-pleted.
I have a tendency to put an enormous amount of pressure on myself. I set the bar high each day. I MUST get this done. I MUST finish that. I MUST exercise. I MUST eat 100% correctly. I MUST make every effort to be the best mother I can be. The best wife I can be. I’m not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing, as these are all good goals to strive for. I’m saying the way I approach them might not be the best way. I’ve got this all-or-nothing mentality going on. Unfinished projects stare at me like I’m the last kid picked for kickball. Loser. One bite of white bread and my day has been ruined and I might as well eat two more slices. With butter. And let’s not even talk about when my stress level has hit the breaking point as my beautiful, sweet 3 year old is screaming like a banshee because she got toast and not cinnamon toast for breakfast (this morning).
I am improving, if you can call it that. I don’t feel like a complete failure if I leave the clean clothes unfolded till the morning. Just lazy.
I’m a work in progress.